Wednesday, May 31, 2006

school's out....

pretty soon: tidying up past years drawings and other works, giving numbers, wich is always traumatic and decorating for saturdays festivities. This is the final of one schoolyear, my eleventh, and I still feel sympathetic towards these children, their livelines and ideas. It is hard to grow in this world of rules and reasons, where your own way of shaping the reality and seeing things can be different than the mainstream's. Tolerance is important, because differences can give more than they take. I've also been scanning old pictures: seeing those people and knowing there fates and destinys feels strangely consolating. They lived and died, were happy and felt sorrow, and in these pictures they let me catch a glimpse of their world.

Monday, May 29, 2006

so sleepy...

that I've been having a nap both yesterday and today. Maybe just gone to bed so late. And working with the computer - scanning pictures and writing - is like a sleeping-pill. The machine makes a soft humming sound and your eyes begin to.....

We tried to mow the lawn with Samuli but both mowers were unreliable and whimsical so it came to maybe twenty squaremeters of short grass and we gave up the task. Then I did some cutting among the roses: the voles and the heavy snow have destroyed most rosebushes, but bits of new growth was to be seen in some roots. Yes, it feels like summer: a couple of swallows were circling the yard, looking for a place...

Tomorrow begins the last week in school and that is exhilarating.

Saturday, May 27, 2006


Made a visit to Helsinki. About 750 km there and back - luckily there was not much traffic either way. It did rain and it slows you down - if you have sense....

It was windy, allmost a storm, on wednesday, and that made my walk inspiring. I like wind. So I bought a book of psychology - about kids cutting themselves deliberately. Then I had a coffee and some delicacies.

Next day I had lunch with my brother and his family. And in the evening home, sweet home.

Tonight I've been scanning old fotographs, a hundred years old.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


and a warm day it has been. I've been writing and arranging texts and printing and panicing: stupid me, always getting to these soups. I'm not going to explain, the history will condemn me! Anyway, the bird-cherry is in bloom and makes the air fragrant. And we had a swallow in the house. This time only for some ten minutes. A year ago it took two days to get one out. Last week there was a chaffinch in the atelier: it was calm and I took it in my hand and bye, bye little bird. We schould have nets covering the open doorways... some day, when...

Monday, May 22, 2006


pure green

Day spent doing installations. No, not artistic installations - technical such. But now it seems to be in working order, the powerbook. Somehow I like it: It is a job to be done and not a nice or interesting job, no. Rather a nasty and boring and frustrating job, in wich you are bound to lose your temper... and I havent much done such jobs, so I have to read the manuals and try to understand how it schould happen. And I did understand, and it works, bloody hell!

And now in the evening I even had time for a little walk: I was almost run over by a deer! We have had here a little herd of five deer. In the autumn there were three and one of them was a little one. This was just it, the little one, grown quite a bit. It ran across the road just in front of me and stood still by some spruce just twenty meters away. And then we had a good look at each other: very nice he looked, wild and tender...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

rainy day

the moped
the swans

Lazy day: I tried to sleep long, but when one is used to wake up early... I've got nothing done, just been idling away this springday... Yes, there were some swans on the field and I took some pictures of them. And of Samuli and Vile, who got the moped started and drove a little - without the seat and brakes. But it did work.

In the afternoon I had a nap and edited some pictures. It is rather cold and as it rains one can idle away with good conscien

Saturday, May 20, 2006


just something...

round and round we go...

Day before yesterday I took some fotos of a baseballmatch. Haven't seen baseball in decades, but it was rather fun: I didn't so match follow the match, but concentrated in people, individual players, and their behaviour. fascinating. Different tempers, different ages, different rythms...

Today or rather now in the evening - the first few minutes have been filmed with my new toy, and the laptop is functioning. Haven't tried to instal the 'final cut' yet. So far so good!

And now I have to stay awake still some hours and fetch Samuli from a disco - this driving is*¤#&%!

Friday, May 19, 2006


just something...

My new toy

Today was THE DAY: I went to collect my lovely new toy, and some accessories. A lot of heavy boxes ended to my car and home we came. Just been studying manuals today and admiring these items. I know there will be a day, when they are worn out and I'm fed up with them, but not today, and not for a while yet. I hope we shall share many moments, both good and bad, and produce something where a living thruth can be sensed.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

easy day

as some days are: nothing much happens, but everything necessary gets done, smoothly and effortlessly. And somehow one is quita surprised how much has been done.

My youngest son, Samuli, 16v. started the motor of his moped for the first time
since he took it to pieces during the winter. And it worked. No tyres or anything, just the motor. It was glorious!

Different pictures today: windows and reflections. I just love reflections

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

still colder


Everything stands still... My friend Ari Liimatainen has made a picture called 'Halted Spring': a sulky green lady with a rope around her neck - exactly how I feel, how the spring stands still, but it won't last, nothing can stop the force of life.
Today I stood in for the teacher of wood- and metalwork. All went relatively well: not like usually, but to the same direction. I like to be a clown, it helps the athmosphere. When you are feeling tense you do not learn or work properly. Or when somebody mocks you, or humiliates. One just feels endless sorrow. Laugh destroys power and might, and it helps one to see the relativity of everything.
And it did rain both water and snow, and the temperature is barely -4¤ C. I think I'll have my hotwaterbottles in use again: nothing is more disgusting than a freezing bed. I will surviwe through the cold and silence.
And tomorrow is another day!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Horses today

Foal of wood

Today was rather cold and windy - north wind. About noon I took my bike and drove some four km to visit a sculptor Eeva-Liisa Molsa and her horses. I took some pictures, of course.

Her children had made a cake for Mother's day and it was quite delicious with coffee

So this weekend...

Sunday, May 14, 2006


The first thunderstorm this summer, quite hectic with hail outside and fire from the wallsockets. Yes, I'm afraid, scared stiff, willing to hide under nearest sofa or whatever. I don't want the house to burn - and all my pictures and writings and other things. After all, it is my life-work.

These pictures are old: the boy with the swallow is 27 years old today, I have a new drawingtable and 'The Memoir' was painted some years ago. As a matter of fact it consists of several memoirs: One of a dream I used to have when I was a child, a dream about a wolf under rosebushes. Another of Tisi, my lovely and disgusting cross-bred, that died two years ago 18 years old. And the other dog, Juuso The Lionheart, one-eyed labradorian, died 2.5.2005. He was thirteen. So I'm a bit lonely still walking these roads.

So the weather has turned to cold and it is nice and homely to be inside with a fire burning in the fireplace. During thunder you can't even watch television so it's books...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Dramatic and loaded

yesterday the text and the pictures - for some reason unknown - went to the archiv. Something of the sort I've expected. Allways messing up everything sooner or later. Let's see where this will end up.

The day was windy and a bit cooler but sunny all the same. I changed my bank. It is a major operation for a peaceful little soul like me. So it was dramatic.

And I confirmed the delivery of professional videoequipment. Why does a nice old lady like me do these things? I do wonder. But the caleidoscope continues to rotate, colours and visions change, and we shall see.

Today at school Rovis did show some 17-18 years old boys 'the understatement', and the boys were silent. So that speaks for itself. I'm content.

Weekend. It's getting colder and cloudy. This is the last weekend before the HDV. Whatever it means. There is going to be a difference for sure, but what kind of difference remains to be seen.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

more little signs

Today at school we had a day of arts: several local artists kept workshops and the kids did all kinds of artefacts. I think it is fruitful to have such days - there should be more artistic activities in school as a rule. Soon all shall be so clever that they will do nothing. That is not very fruitful. And in the pictures more little signs of spring: moss blooming, willow too, birchgreen and my house, eastfasade...

long day

Sunny, but not so warm. The roads are straight from hell: soft spots and fallen drums. A year ago I broke my car quite badly - it cost me nearly 1000,-E. Should drive carefully and slowly, but....

We had a meeting about the summerexhibition - the local artists, and the summershop 'Pawn'. Both will be , even the dates are fixed. Everything is so coincidential and unprofessional, but it's better than nothing.

We also talked about a filmclub for next winter, but we shall see... As usually everyone is interested, but when it comes to action, nothing happens.

Little marks of spring keep coming.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I'm surprised to do this - an impuls, but why not? I'm thinking daily and taking pictures almost daily. And now, since my means of expression are changing radically from fotos and paintings to cinematics as it originally was intended, I feel free to change also my private behaviour and extend it to this form... if this will tecnically succeed. Stupid me may do something wrong and end up with nothing working. But let's see!
The day has been warm and green, a bit windy, though. I'm getting everything ready to buy a videocamera and an editingunit so I had negotiation in the bank. Yes, I'm very nervous about this all, but also eager to start working.
My students at local school are wonderful - how much energy they give to me is amazing. Harassing at times also. I do some hours on visual arts, been teaching for eleven years. So long, it seems unbeliavable!